Big Feelings: introducing the setting
A magical place v close to my heart
Friends, it’s three weeks until Big Feelings is out in the world! I received a box of final copies the other day and filmed a video for you.
Personally, I find author unboxing videos incredibly dull (sorry) so I did something a little different for my first one in 2023 (an epic dream I had about being bitten by a catfish and saved by Harry Styles). It seemed only fair to continue the unhinged trajectory, so this time I ripped open my box of books while telling you the story of that time my ex-fiance went on a cringe dating show.
I know.
So, that’s coming to Instagram this weekend!
For now, I’d love to introduce you to the SETTING of my new book.
*clears throat*
Episode 3: The Setting
Big Feelings is set in a small town on the mid-north coast of NSW, which is v special to me. I first travelled there in 2017 on a solo post-heartbreak trip, where I stayed in an Airbnb about twenty minutes out of town, with an outdoor bathtub and a view of the mountain and no phone reception. I read books and danced naked and cried and journalled and laughed and healed and I felt, deep in my bones, that it was a place I was meant to spend a lot of time in, for years to come.
On my last morning, I decided to take a different route back into town. I drove through a cathedral of trees in the misty rain and came across a sparkling turquoise river. I walked along the pebbled banks and heard nothing but the sound of the rain on the water and the occasional snap of a branch.
It was the middle of winter, just after sunrise, no one around. So I stripped off my clothes and dove headfirst into the water. The first of many, many freezing cold river swims that are a balm to my soul.
Six months later, I fell in love with Laura. Six months after that, I took her to my secluded paradise where we did a photoshoot for my small business, Secret Book Stuff, which I’d just invited her to join as partner.
Five years later, we got married against the backdrop of that very same mountain, with just a celebrant, musician, and photographer to witness.
Over the years of working on this book, I spent many solo writing retreats at the river and the mountains. The Airbnb I originally stayed in has now been privately sold (to an influencer couple, which pains me, but is also kind of nice because I get to see my second home pretty often on the ‘gram, lol).
Big Feelings is set during the years 2018-2024. I specifically wanted to capture the Black Summer bushfires that swept across the east coast late in 2019. We were spending a lot of time in ‘our place’ during those months, and I remember the constant veil of threat. The ash-flecked river and the smoky air and the heat, the heat. We looked after our best friend’s house and animals while she was away shooting weddings, and we couldn’t open the windows or doors. The ceiling fans blew hot, smoky air around the rooms and the bathtub was full of water in preparation. I remember feeling like the town was ready for something, but we didn’t know what.
There is more to the story of why this town is so special to me — to us — which I’ll share next week when I tell you about the INSPO behind writing Big Feelings.
Even though my character Sadie grew up in this town, it is a place that tends to collect lost souls, or a least a place for one lost soul to meet another at exactly the right time. (Enter Chase.) Like most people growing up in a small community, Sadie longs to leave. She goes to Newcastle for uni and Melbourne for her first ‘real’ job and roadtrips the US with her best friend and moves to London with a girlfriend. Like in many other ways, Sadie is a contradiction of feelings and desire. She’s always desperate to leave, but also anxious to come back home: to her beloved dad, her found family, to the river and trees and mountains.
You’ve probably noticed by now that I haven’t revealed the name of the place. Many of you will already know it, from these photos or from my gushing over the years. I feel really protective of the town, the landscape and surrounds, and so do the locals and traditional custodians. I’ve witnessed the changes taking place across eight years. I saw the housing boom post-covid, where city folk got excited about a tree change. I’ve seen local families reduced to living in their car by the river because rent has increased and luxury accommodation abounds. My heart aches for the volunteer groups established to clear the precious swimming holes of plastic rubbish and fetid nappies after the summer season.
If you go there, please respect the country — the land and waterways that Gumbaynggir people have cared for over millennia.
I pay my deepest respect and gratitude to the traditional custodians of the unceded land that has healed, held and inspired me for the past eight years. I hope I’ve done justice to the magic of the trees, mountains, waterfalls and waterways in Big Feelings.
Amy x
Events for the launch of MY BOOK, YAY!
Newcastle, 17 July (link coming soon but save the date!)